It's surreal that one of my last posts was (finally) letting everyone know that we were expecting. We had waited a long time - a full month after you're "supposed" to start telling people - since we were a little nervous and it was our first. But once we did start telling people, it felt so good. Our happiness was multiplied by everyone else's joyful reactions, and for that I'm unspeakably grateful. But it also now necessitates this note.
On Saturday night, I went into an extremely early labor. The doctors, at this point, don't know why it happened. We were shocked, scared, and heartbroken to think that everything was coming to an end so quickly. Mercifully, we had a wonderful team of doctors and nurses who treated us with so much love and compassion the whole night - I don't know what we would have done without them. [I had to be coached through every part of labor and delivery since I had thought we had many months to go and hadn't read up on everything yet, but they were so encouraging and kind.]
Will was my anchor. I can't say much more than that, except that I have never been more grateful for or more in love with him.
Our son was stillborn early on Sunday morning - the day before our one-year anniversary. He was tiny, and perfect. We were able to hold him and spend some time with him, and though it was so painful at the time, I know the memory of it will get us through the days (and years) ahead. We named him Joseph Isaac Dunham; naming him for St. Joseph seemed perfect since Will was already such an amazing father, as did the hopeful aspect of Isaac (which means "laughter").
We miss our boy so much, but we're grateful for the knowledge that he is already with God. We're grateful also for the prayers of our families and friends which have sustained us and will continue to sustain us. Thank you, and we love you all.
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you,
plans to give you hope and a future."
Jeremiah 29:11
Oh Anna, I am so sorry. I know my words can't do much, but our prayers are with you.
ReplyDeleteMy heart breaks for you. I'm so sorry for your loss. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
ReplyDeleteAnna, James and I both sat on the couch and cried when we got Will's email. I can't begin to imagine what you are going through, but I want you to know that you are heavy in our hearts and ever present in our minds and prayers.
ReplyDelete~Hannah
Oh, my God, Anna. Are those his tiny feet? What a treasure. We are so sad for you here, but you will know your little son someday. Weeping may endure for a night buy joy cometh in the morning. Love to both of you.
ReplyDeleteAnna and Will, I just want you to know we are praying for you and Joseph. We love you. Andy and Kate.
ReplyDeletePrayers <3
ReplyDeleteOur family has been lifting you in prayers since we heard the news. We are so incredibly saddened by your loss. We know that Joseph Isaac will have a strong hold in your heart forever and a glorius eternity with God. We pray that the people you encounter day to day (those who you don't even know) will offer you grace so that you may continue to heal from the physical, spiritual, and emotional stress of this. More than anything, we pray that you and Will are able to draw closer to each other. Sending you love.
ReplyDeleteMy heart reaches out to you both~
ReplyDeletesending love and light your way.
Oh Anna and Will, my heart breaks for you, and I'm shedding tears of my own on behalf of your firstborn. You are brave, courageous, and yet I suspect feel so weak and lonely right now. May God sustain you with His grace now as human comfort is so not enough. We ache for your loss!
ReplyDeletepraying for you, anna. what a sweet mother you were to your precious boy while you had him. praying for healing, hope and rest for you and will.
ReplyDeleteOh Anna. I've been crying off and on all week for you. Eric and I have your family in our prayers. Know you are lifted up by so, so many.
ReplyDeleteWill & Anna,
ReplyDeleteWe know you loved that little boy so much already, and we're so sorry your time together ended so soon. The loss is tremendous. You'll be in our hearts and prayers in these days ahead.
Olivia & Jason
Will & Anna,
ReplyDeleteWe are so sorry for your loss of your precious baby boy, Joseph Isaac. You and your family are in our thoughts and prayers.
Charlotte & family
Anna, you have such a sweet heart, and I admire how you just lifted this all up to God. The words of Laura Story have been my comfort - "what if trials of this life; the rain, the storms, the hardest nights - are Your mercies in disguise". So much love to you!
ReplyDeletePraying for you and Will, Lou - I am so, so sorry. Sending my love!
ReplyDeleteAnna, I'm just a friend of a friend, but was so very sad to hear of Joseph's early birth and death. My heart and prayers go out to you and Will and your extended family. I am sure that there are really no words that comfort you, but I was reminded of this lovely blogger's story of losing her first child in a similar fashion:
ReplyDeletehttp://showerofroses.blogspot.com/2007/11/beginning-of-my-devotion-to-st-therese.html
I pray you will one day be surrounded by as many beautiful children as she now is, asking for sweet Joseph's intercession.
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"All ye heavenly Angels and Saints, pray for us! Pray for our grieving family! May we never forget to pray to the little member of our family who is watching over us from Heaven. Amen"
(excerpt from Prayer of a Bereaved Mother of a Baptized Baby by Agnes Penny in Your Labor of Love, taken from blog post above)
I am so sorry for you loss. You're writing has touched me and my heart goes out to you and your family. God Bless.
ReplyDeleteI am deeply touched by this post. I will forever pray for you, your husband, and your perfect son.
ReplyDeleteAndrea